This is the day when she said that she love me. The first time I heard those three words. I remember that day when my heart skipped a beat. When it felt like I was floating in the air and everything else around me mean nothing, when I see and hear nothing but her.. I can taste a huge block on my throat and I can’t utter any single word. But one thing was certain that day, I was happy, there was overflowing happiness that I can’t contain.. And that very day, I intend and promise to love her then and always.
I used to believe that in love there’s no if, no but, no when..that true love is timeless.. That there is only always and forever. That It is more than just a feeling that come and go. But I also learned the hard way that sometimes love is not enough. That sometimes being in love is not enough to make it work. It is not always something like you see or read in a romantic movies or some books that appeared and sounded pretty well and give you a happily ever after ending. How love can easily be tossed away in just a snap when someone else new comes along.How happiness can be so fucking fleeting. That people always leave and they come and go.And when reality strikes you right in front your face, it will hit you like a bomb that will burst your soul, or a bullet that will rip and drill your heart, and it can destroy you and it can destroy everything else that you believe in.
So I say don’t say you love me.. If you can’t love me without fear.. Without shame. Don’t say you love me with that intention of loving me by pieces and not loving me as a whole, don’t say you love me if you intend to change me, if you can’t love me by who I am and not by what I am. Don’t say you love me with the intention of loving me temporarily or only when everything else is easy and great. don’t say you love me if you can’t love the worst in me, Don’t say you love if there’s any single doubt in you questioning if I’m worth it, don’t say you love me if by any chance that you felt that loving me is a mistake or loving me is just a part of some sort of an act of foolishness. Don’t say you love me if you can’t love me during those moment when I do not have enough courage to stand tall. Do not say you love because I might do stupid thing like opening my heart again.. Of believing in love again.. Of trusting in love again. Of falling in love again and I am sorry but I tell you this, I can’t give you an extraordinary life and I know no other way to love but to just love you with all that is left in me, plainly, truly, deeply.